Author: kathleen

I've been ignoring most of what I need to keep up with to control my blood sugar properly.  Which means I haven't been testing, having been keeping up with my TDD, and haven't kept up my spreadsheet.  Probably because all those numbers have been sucking.

Well, according to the Rules of 1500 and 1800, I'm taking WAY too small of an insulin dose for every meal and my corrections are WAY too low.

Just fixed all that, put it in the pump, and am resolving to do better in the evenings. 

Might explain the sugar cravings too.

I now weigh over 40 pounds less than I did at my heaviest last year when I started on the lap band journey.

I realized I was obsessing over numbers so took a break from them.  Finally got on the scales this morning to a new low.

I finding out some weird stuff.  One is, when I obsess over the numbers they don't budge, and then I get even more stressed and the numbers go the wrong way.  Food I shouldn't have visits the house, etc.  So I'm learning to take some breaks from them.

Actually that isn't so weird, I've been warned about that from the TLC Edge people.

Also, people have been commenting that I've lost weight again, and I do think that your body has to go through a process:

• Lose some weight.but not look like it
• Rearrange it — so you don't loose weight, but you look like it

I'm also seeing that the same kind of thing happens with my insuilin usage — when I loose weight my usage goes down, but through that rearranging process, it goes back up.

Means I really have to monitor close — I had a period last week where I was hitting the 300s and got as high as 400 this week and part of it was that I was in denial I needed that much insulin.

I'd still really like to have another 5 pounds gone before our next agility trial next weekend but I doubt that's possible with the week ahead.  Very stressful.

Yesterday every time I checked, blood sugar was in the 300’s.  Not sure what is going on, but trying to pull it down.

Had meeting after school on Monday.  Actually figured out how to eat dinner in public and what to eat.  Meat loaded baked potato and turn it into mashed.

Had meeting from 9:00 – 11:00 at a location off campus.  I think that’s what caused the high blood sugar, that and the second mocha, should have turned my pump to workshop setting.

Then had an online workshop after school, which was good, and we’re supposed to have a copy of it to look at.

Faculty meeting this morning and then maybe life will get back to normal, though I have a meeting in the morning I called with students, we’ll see if anyone shows up.

Goal right now is to get blood sugar back to normal and then see if I can get any weight off at all before the next trials.

Yes, the last few days especially I haven't been taking care of myself as well as I should.  Haven't been testing, haven't been bolusing etc.

I do fix it at the end of the day, and try to fix it in the morning, but I've missed a few mornings.

However, it's the first of the month, and the first of the week, and I bet like all diabetics, I'm vowing to do better.  I've just restocked my bag, and getting ready for another week.

Maybe I can do better this week.

I'm also ready to lose some weight again.

I think I'm stuck again.  Looking at my 14 day spreadsheet, I'm staying within the same two pounds, insulin TDD is about the same, etc.

I'm trying to spread my calories out throughout the day better, one theory if that I put my body in starvation mode by not eating all day.

So I've been doing a protein bar in the morning, lunch, something small after school, workout and eat after the workout.

I've only been doing that this week.  And I'd like to switch the protein bar to something a bit more high fiber.  I am going to see about bringing in some microwave oatmeal and see how that works, I can always do that in a paper cup in the microwave.

I can't really add any more exercise, as the cold fronts are bothering my knees. 

I haven't had a lunch period in a while, and I finally do.

In fact, right now, the door is shut and I'm doing none school stuff.  And some school stuff.

Managed to eat about half of my Diet Gourmet lunch which isn't bad — ravioli, both the lunch isn't bad and that I could only eat half isn't bad.  I'm bolusing for just under half, which makes the math easier and gives me a bit of leeway in case I guessed wrong.

There are some DG lunches I can't eat, usually involving sandwiches, so I've decided to get breakfasts those days.

I’m recovering from the weekend before last and some other mistakes I made. However, you can see that the spike in blood sugar I get from agility isn’t helping much.

In other words, I’m still working on the same three ro four pounds.

I started this post as I was waiting for my turn.  I came out to the car and wanted to make sure it wasn't too hot for Macy as they were walking Open.  It's a small open class so I can't stay out here too long.  I would go in, but my air card isn't getting a signal.

Yesterday was really good.  Macy stayed with me on both courses, and did every type of obstacle.  For some reason I was pushing her off the jumps in the jumpers course, wondering if it is my depth perception. 

Standard went really well yesterday — the judge remembered her and had the gate steward close the gates, but we didn't need that.  She did ALL the obstacles and stayed with me.  however she missed the down contact on the dog walk.

Really used the insulin yesterday and the agility basal is working today, staying in the mid 100s all day.  Weather is prettier today but colder, it rained all day yesterday so I have two layers on, today.  Hard to tell I've lost weight, and even hard to move around.

I'm going to head in now, and watch open, and wait for them to set up my course so we don't miss it.

——-

I'm home now.

We've had a really good day!  We took two first places, one in JWW and one in Standard.  The JWW was clean, but had 4 time faults, the Standard run had two refusals and 5 time faults. 

Finally!

No Q's.  Dog was with me the entire course, and took all the obstacles.

Don't want to say too much as I don't want to jinx tomorrow.

Tempature was a bit chilly, I wore a long skirt, leggins and a polo shirt.  I'm going to go with one more layer tomorrow as it is supposed to be colder.

Rain is bothering my knee but not really bad.

Planning on going back tomorrow.