Author: kathleen

This is fill is difficult, but my weight is going down, so I'm not messing with it.

Parent conferences last night and the parent's served us smoked chicked.  I insisted on dark meat and got a thigh.  Ate about a third and was feeling really tight, managed a few green beans and a bit of potatos with cheese.  Went up to my room, grabbed my used McCafe cup and coughed up a few bites.  Wasn't too bad (hey, Friday morning I coughed up most of my breakfast).

I'm sure it was stress and eating too fast (I really wanted to go to an ARD).  One of my good friends says it sounds like I'm getting bulimia and I told her I'd worry about it in about 150 pounds and at that point I'd get an unfill and things would be better.

And I have seriously thought about an unfill BUT right now I"m doing what the surgery was supposed to do, let me lose weight.

Macy and I are making progress.  She isn't running out of the ring.  However, Saturday she was really slow.  I couldn't get her head up and someone asked me if I had thought of tracking with her <snarl>.

I know it was me.  The cold and rain have made me achy, and as I've said in a previous post, I've adjusted to this weight so I feel heavy when I try to run.  Wearing two layers of clothing didn't help either.

I didn't go back on Sunday, just woke up too achy.

We'll give it a try in a few weeks.

Saturday I'm going to Macy's family reunion, and hoping to talk to Mildred about a June puppy.  I want something just like Macy, but not quite so over the top.  I couldn't take two divas.  I want to get one who is about her size — don't want a 15" beagle again, even though I have the crates.  And it would be slower.

(Note: this was written before school, not during parent conferences.)

So after days of fighting this fill, Friday I finally gave in.  I think it was almost coughing food up in a restaurant — I made it to the car and grabbed one of my McCafe cups and ended up coughing up everything I ate at the restaurant … Yeah, one of the fun things about the lap band.

Anyway, all weekend I've been pretty good and nothing has come back up.

Best yet, I'm at my lowest on the scale. 

I haven't said much about this fill mainly because it's hard.

Right now, when I drink liquids I can feel them pooling at the base of my throat.  Not for long but it's an interesting feeling.

I can't eat much protein at one sitting.

In fact, I have trouble eating a small slice of cake (some of that random food in the teacher's lounge, though since some showed up spiked with marijuana we're a bit more careful — not our school and the prankster served some time).

I got "stuck" almost every day the first week, but that's happened with all the other fills.

I definately can't eat the volume of what I used to eat.  I've caught myself fooling the band, and I'm trying to break that happen.

For example, about the only thing I can do in the mornings is warm liquid, plus I miss my diet coke caffeine and am not a regular coffee drinker so I've been doing McCafe Mochas.  I'm trying to switch to Cappacinos or Lattes as they are lower calorie.

The other problem I'm having is that I have adjusted to my weight.  Meaning that first feeling of being lighter is gone, and I'm back to filling like I'm lugging around two people (well, I am).  So I'm tired a lot.

We also had a lot of rainy weather and now it's cold so my arthretis is bothering me.  I'm working hard now on exercising again, and using my Zune HD to help.

I've got to find a source in the local area.  Stuff is great.

I'm drinking a Pomegranate Nectarine bottle of juice.  62 carbs though.  But other than that, it's great.  Great taste. 

I've got another bottle in the fridge, not sure what it is.

I will say I need to find the sugar free teas.  That was really good!

At school (see http://www.kweaver.org/cs ) I am still just surviving each day.

So I'm gaining and losing the same 4 pounds (but it's lower 4 pounds).  This fill is working but I've been making some bad choices.

I've already made one switch that should help — doing McCafe Cappiocino instead of a Mocha in the morning.  That says about 25 carbs and 110 calories.  I've found that eating during the day at school doesn't work.  Neither does eating something in the car.  Both tend to come right up.

I'm still eating all evening, just not as much.

Not training and showing Maggie has reduced some stress level, especially the not trialing part.  Macy improves steadily each week.  She's now running the course with me and we're finishing before the whistle blows, just not taking every obstacle I tell her too.  One thing I am doing is not sweating out anything she misses but I just keep going.

We've got another trial next weekend.

Almost afraid to post, but by my scales, I've lost 5 pounds since Tuesday when I finished my liquid/mushies after my fill.

I certainly can't eat as much.

Of course, the others did too. 

Had my fourth fill on Friday.  I'm slimed and brought up food now, three different meals.  This is why I don't eat at school anymore.

However, I have to change that a bit. 

So far, since I have had lap band surgery, I've lost 25 pounds.  I haven't lost any significant weight since I have recovered from the surgery.

I have however, lost and gained 5 pounds in addition to the 25 pounds.

I am also wearing clothing that is at least three dress sizes smaller than I did pre surgery.  In fact, I'm wearing clothing that was uncomfortable when I weighted 20 pounds less than I do now.  And wearing them comfortable.

Weird, anyone have an answer to that?

So my energy level still isn't great, because I'm only carrying 25 pounds less than I did.

I've identified my major eating problem — stress.  Yesterday I got tired and stressed and I started wanting to eat the house.  A Slim Fast drink did not solve that problem, so I'm going to pick up Slim Fast bars or something similar.

By the way, the taquiro <sp> down the road helped.  For $7.99 you can get fajita beef (no vegetables).  I really had to work hard to eat that, but it did help the "so hungry could eat the house".

Let me start out by saying I’ve been exhausted lately and I’m not entirely sure why. This morning I was hoping it wasn’t my blood sugar, but it’s probably just the work stress.

So it was really hot by the time Macy’s runs were up.  She’s got a thick coat, and she was definately hot when we started.  She tried really hard though, staying with me most of the time.  She did try to get a ring steward to save her from the dog walk — I’m pretty sure she thought it was the teeter.

Her JWW’s run were the best, moving pretty well and putting together some good obstacles.

I think her biggest problems is the state of my health and weight, plus she’s not entirely sure she’s going to get paid for her efforts.  That takes repetition.