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My blood sugar hit 352 this evening. I don’t know why. I do know how I feel when I’m at 352.
I can’t see.
I really want the chocolate downstairs but it hurts to much to go downstairs.
Oh, and everything hurts.
And sadly, I really just want to die.
I know it’s the sugar. I just don’t know how to fix it.
The good news, Macy loves me. I think Marcie does too, not sure about Maggie, but then she’s a mess too. — oh, those are my beagles.
To be very blunt, very few of the people who have written about this study so far, are as affected by this study than I am. I’m the closest to the demographic — being Type 2.
Quoted from http://public.nhlbi.nih.gov/newsroom/home/GetPressRelease.aspx?id=2551:
The National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute (NHLBI) of the National Institutes of Health has stopped one treatment within a large, ongoing North American clinical trial of diabetes and cardiovascular disease 18 months early due to safety concerns after review of available data, although the study will continue.
Here’s my take on it. Right now, my blood sugar is the worst it’s been in ages and it’s been that way for months. I’m about to move up my endo’s appointment if it doesn’t get better soon.
My blood sugar has been bouncing up and down and has been in the 200’s most of the day. This affects my day to day living:
My vision is blurred. I am very cranky and hard to get along with. I say things I don’t mean, or at least wouldn’t say if I was in my normal state. I’m exhausted most of the time. I am not sleeping well. I am hungry all the time and crave food.
So I’m trying to get back to my normal good control because I am SICK. Not sick enough to call in sick but certainly not well –and I’ve even said that to students two or three times this week.
So for me, tight control is the right thing. If it causes a major cardio vascular event, so be it, frankly I’m hoping for the sudden, major event that kills me, since I watched my dad die a slow and often painful death.
Oh, yeah, and I’m depressed too….
Came home to two good things — an new One Touch Ultra — just went the old one started working again, and a clean house. It really does relieve a lot of stress and does free me up to do other things. I cam in this afternoon to find a clean house. All the trash collected and in the garage, beds made, bathrooms and kitchen clean. Now instead of looking at dirty floors and thinking I should do something about it, I can focus on bigger projects. Each time they come, the house is more efficient, and I’m happier.
Even the husband seems to like it. Hopefully we can continue it — if nothing else, we might go to once a month, but right now, every other week is often enough the house stays good, and in the right price range.
I hate cold, and I am really glad I didn’t go. It’s still under 40 degrees and almost 10:00. While I’ve got good clothing for cold conditions, neither the dogs and I are happy with the temperature — okay, Marcie probably is, but Maggie isn’t.
This will give me a day to relax and get some stuff done. Like the taxes, I have to deal with the STEM money. They told us it would be tax free when I won it, but then found out this week that it is taxable.
The screen for my One Touch Ultra failed — I can’t read the numbers. Called the Lifescan toll free number and they said they would send a replacement on Monday. I’m sure that the Dexcom will still work with it, but I think I’m going to hold off on using my next sensor until it comes. It’s too late to deal with it now, and I really don’t want to deal with it in the morning — my day was a little full today.
First dog agility day in about two months. Blood sugar was the best it’s been in a while once i remembered to set my basal to agilty.
However, it was cold and dear Maggie didn’t feel like doing agility. She actually felt like looking for food, I think.
I lost Marice in the tunnel in Jumers, and then she fell out of the tunnel in Standard (went in, couldn’t figure out what she was supposed to do, and then came back out.
Got Macy her first measurement, she’ll be jumping 12" and 8" and we just started training at 12" this month. Doesn’t seem to faze her at all though. I like to get that done well in advance to entering my dog, then I know what height they jump, don’t have to stand in line to get measured before our class and stress out over that.
One of my many directions at getting my life and my blood sugar back under control is to post to the blog more. I’m still having lots of problems with control. I know that I am not exercising as much as I was before Thanksgiving, though this week has been better. However, I’m not seeing any changes in my overall blood sugar as a result.
I also know one of my problems is food intake. I start eating in the late afternoon and can’t seem to stop until I get to bed. That makes the GERD worse and shoots up the blood sugar, especially when I eat carbs. I’ve been trying to shift from carb to protein but then that makes the GERD worse. Makes the sleep worse, makes the wanting to eat worse, vicious cycle.
I’ve been working "Shrink Yourself" but haven’t been able to get past about week 6. I’m not sure why, but I keep working on it.
The Fit4D people and program has been good — which is one reason the exericse is getting better.
If anyone has any good ideas, let me know.
It’s day six and I just had another sensor fail. I’m going to restart it, but I don’t hold out much hope for it.
And this one was one of the replacement sensors!
First if you are seeing not seeing this at http://www.kweaver.org — someone is STILL ripping me off.
Tonight is interesting, I’ve got a photographer from the Dallas Morning News taking pictures while I’m blogging. I figured the best way to keep him from completely freaking me out, was to just sit down and write a blog entry.
It’s all Amy’s fault you know (Diabetes Mine). She sicced a reporter on me back before World Diabetes day. However, they decided to focus on children and didn’t use the interview. The bad news, is that this isn’t the first time I’ve been in the paper in the past 12 months.
The next major milestone in my blogging life is coming up soon — I will be on my way out of the country, I think I mentioned before in the blog that I’m going on a cruise, teacher workshop, and the day of my blog anniversary is the day I fly out. I’ll try to blog on the phone on the way, and publish when I land in Miami.
I need to do the massage thing more often. I had a really good agility practice last night, wasn’t as stiff and was able to run even. Very little knee pain.
Also wasn’t as still today, though I really want a nap.