Category: Blog

Blood sugar was 118 this morning which was good.

Between Superintendent's Meeting and just a long day, no treadmill time.

Did take Macy to agility class but spent most of the time working with her with me on the floor — teaching her bang it.

Got home to late to treadmill.

Food quantity and quality was better.

No drinking.

Dummy me decided to load Windows 7 on my Thinkpad.  LOVE it.  I love Windows 7.

See my computer science blog at http://www.kweaver.org for the rest of the day.

Blood sugar was 179 this morning — yikes — put in 50% basal increase that usually helps fix those kinds of things.

May have to up my over all basal as my classroom was incredibly hot yesterday and that seems to make my blood sugar go up.  Not sure if it's the kids complaining and falling asleep or the physical stress.

Got in 11 minutes on the treadmill, I've been consistantly doing 10 minutes, so now I'm trying to get to 15 minutes again.  Still have an incredible amount of pain.

Got an H1N1 shot — we have a local company that provides the shots no questions asked.  Giving out about 800 a day.  Took all of 15 minutes and will remember them next year for regular shot, as they are quite good at getting people processed.  Fill out form, give $20, get shot and out the door.  Dallas Morning News hates them so more reason to go with them.

Got in 10 minutes on the treadmill, did much better on testing, though I haven't yet tested today … better stop to do it.

Starting out the day at 135, which isn't too bad.  I did leave my pump suspended a bit too long but that will show up on the next test not this one.

Water was slightly better, need to work hard on that.

Having lots of pain and have decided to fire the chiropractor, he leaves me hurting for days, and the old guy didn't.  This guy bought out the first guy's practice, so it wasn't my choice.

Still having trouble sleeping all night.

I don't really like Halloween and it's been worse since I've been diagnosed with diabetes.

Last year I had decided to skip it and my husband decided he wanted to make a big deal.  <sigh>  Really made me mad, as he went ahead and did it even though I expressed my displeasure.

Drove me nuts, drove the dogs nuts.

Now I wouldn't mind if it were just the neighborhood kids because we're across the street from a park, and people were dropping their kids off and picking them up at the end of the street.

Really urks me.

Last night was great, we left everything off, and only one group ran the bell.  Dogs barked and they sent went off.

I'll probably skip Thanksgiving too.

Though I did pick up some emergency sugar at the after Halloween sale at Walgreens.

My diabetes control has been sucking — A1C of 8.1 and I still am not losing weight the way I would like to, so I'm going to try blogging on the Living with Diabetes/Lapband blog everyday and see if that helps.

So far, my blood sugar is 119 which is excellent the day after Halloween.  The only bad diet things I've done was to eat an ice cream cone.  No Halloween candy.

I'm also planning to get in at least 10 minutes on the treadmill daily and keep my bag with me — I left it upstairs for a while yesterday and as a result missed a blood sugar check.

Also trying to drink more during the day.

Yesterday was treat me day — got in 10 minutes on the treadmill, but also got my hair done — I'm going to try to wear it more curly and keep it from frizzing.  Got my nails done and let the salon talk me into a facial.  The hair place is hair only, and dropped by my new regular nail salon on the way home.

I'm torn — it's more expensive than the ones close to the house but I like the cleaniness better, the atmosphere better, but it is farther away.  However, I'm in that direction a couple of times a week now.

Having things like my nails done just make me feel more together.

Diabetes Can be a Five Letter Word.

… and that five letter word is "guilt."

via sixuntilme.com

And she thinks guilt is a problem for Type 1s…… Let me tell you what it is like for the overweight, Type 2, diabetic.

Forgetting the fact that both my parents have been diagnosed with diabetes, and both of my fathers parents were diagnosed with diabetes, and that my father, his father and mother, all died of cardiovascular complications of diabetes …

IT IS MY FAULT I HAVE DIABETES.

Ask any one.  Ask my endo, my primary care physician, the NY Times or anyone walking down the street.  It is my f*ing fault I'm here.

At least I was diagnosed before "pre-diabetes".

Seriously my blood sugar has been watched since I was a teen ager.  My first fasting glucose test as done when I was around 15 and NOT over weight.  In fact,  I was pretty thin (disappeared when I turned sideways) until I was riding a bicycle and hit by a car.

One doctor (sleep / pulmonary specialist and one of the top in the city of Dallas) figures that I have sleep apnea because my jaw was broken.  Love him, because the undiagnosed sleep apnea is probably the cause.  

I have struggled with sleep and weight since then.  And I rarely win.

But I'm sorry — Type 1s don't know the first thing about guilt — we've deal with the same guilt as we do PLUS!  (and yeah, I know a lot of idiots blame Type 1 on too much sugar too).

As I posted this morning, I think I'm losing a pound a week.  I'm trying to be positive as I was gaining that a year ago.

However, that also means that next May, I'll be at 250 pounds, which is a bit depressing.

I'd like to be at 2 pounds a week, and I'm not sure how to get there.  Our rain is really getting to me — so walking on the treadmill is limited.  I'm at 15 minutes now and skipping a day or two.

I have made some changes that should help — personal trainer is coming on Tuesday and Friday, rather than Friday and Saturday.

I'm taking two dog agility classes, and their schedules should allow me to walk more — one on Wednesday about 10 minutes from the house at 7:00 and one on Thursday, at 9:00 but an hour away.  I should be able to get in a few minutes those days.

Sometimes, I just can't get on the treadmill from the pain — Saturday was one of those days.

Got on the scales today and I'm missing another pound!

However, I'm still having gratification vs. grief issues.  That's the best way I can put it. 

I'm losing about 1 pound of week, but then it's not really a pound.  Here's what I mean, during a particular week, my weight will vary between the current weight to at least 4 pounds more.  I'd like the weight to be a bit more stable.

I'd also like to see more than a pound a week off.

However, at this time last year, I was gaining a pound a week so can I really think of it as two pounds a week off, or something weird like that — head games.

And here's the bigger deal.  I keep finding things I can't eat.  Last week it was Diet Gourmet's pot roast.  That whole dinner ended up coming up.

So not being able to eat pot roast isn't worth losing a pound a week to me right now.

Yeah, more head games.

I also still feel the same level of pain on a regular basis.  Of course, it doesn't help that we've had more rainy days than not since October, maybe middle of September.  Rain does not help the arthitis!

I did by "emergency" clothing.  I have emergency skirts.  I have pile of skirts I can wear if my current skirts get too big.

I bought emergency panties and emergency shirts as they were on sale at Lane Bryant, and I like having a small stock pile of clothing to switch to, if the current clothing gets to big.

Also need to start a stash for clothing again, but right now, only have one too big skirt I kept back from the clothing exchange.

I am still coughing up a lot of food.  I'm not losing enough weight to make that worth while.

It's no fun and no one around me understands the frustration.

I am sick of people offering me food and even more sick of them eating in front of me when it isn't appropriate to eat.

And yes, I'm depressed and angry about it.