Category: Blog

Got on the scales today and I'm missing another pound!

However, I'm still having gratification vs. grief issues.  That's the best way I can put it. 

I'm losing about 1 pound of week, but then it's not really a pound.  Here's what I mean, during a particular week, my weight will vary between the current weight to at least 4 pounds more.  I'd like the weight to be a bit more stable.

I'd also like to see more than a pound a week off.

However, at this time last year, I was gaining a pound a week so can I really think of it as two pounds a week off, or something weird like that — head games.

And here's the bigger deal.  I keep finding things I can't eat.  Last week it was Diet Gourmet's pot roast.  That whole dinner ended up coming up.

So not being able to eat pot roast isn't worth losing a pound a week to me right now.

Yeah, more head games.

I also still feel the same level of pain on a regular basis.  Of course, it doesn't help that we've had more rainy days than not since October, maybe middle of September.  Rain does not help the arthitis!

I did by "emergency" clothing.  I have emergency skirts.  I have pile of skirts I can wear if my current skirts get too big.

I bought emergency panties and emergency shirts as they were on sale at Lane Bryant, and I like having a small stock pile of clothing to switch to, if the current clothing gets to big.

Also need to start a stash for clothing again, but right now, only have one too big skirt I kept back from the clothing exchange.

I am still coughing up a lot of food.  I'm not losing enough weight to make that worth while.

It's no fun and no one around me understands the frustration.

I am sick of people offering me food and even more sick of them eating in front of me when it isn't appropriate to eat.

And yes, I'm depressed and angry about it.

Yeah, stem cell.  Not embroyic. But they can take adult stem cells from the patient and inject it in the joints.

Why aren't they doing this for humans? I'll volunteer.

They say they have an 70-80% success rate.

So I'm going to try to get my A1C back down.

Here's what I am seeing on a regular basis — my basal rate seems to be too low in the mornings.  I am high when I wake up, and I am high after my morning mocha (I know, but for now it's the only thing I can do in the morning without tossing it back up and I need the caffeine to face the day).

I ran a 50% higher basal and got back to normal.  Plus I'm running my agility basal.

So here's my thought and if it's nuts, let me know.

Switch my teacher basal to my agility basal.  Make all my other basals higher in relation.  Run the new teacher basal during the day and check often.

—-

I'm blaming my not checking my blood sugar on my Dean, she tried to get me to carry less around.  Yes, a smaller bag will be good.  I'm going to go through my Ameribags and switch to my smallest and see if that helps.

Right now I have the meter on the desk and have stuck to my classroom, and have been able to test the way I should all day.

Need to do the same at home.

—–

Also need to remember to pick up money for personal trainer — I've moved her schedule to Friday and Tuesday and need to get better at exercising when she isn't at the house.

—-

Hmm, not baby steps!

Especially Endo.

Do you have your pump with you?

okay i always wear my pump. i have yet to leave it behind. Did double check today.

A1C – 8.1

Cholesterol – good – the issue I was most concerned about since I had not been able to take Vytorin 10/80 — too big — and I’ve been on samples of Vytorin 10/20 and it’s been fine.

Kidney function good

Doctor is concerned over my A1C — I am too — but I’m also afraid of going low. The lap band surgery and resulting eating changes make me go high. That and the stress related to dealing with campus tech.

We did drop a blood pressure drug, I’m close to the end of my Enforge and my blood pressure is 126 / 63.

Again, I’d rather run high than run too low.

Positive changes.

This weekend went bad. I’m not sure why — I think I was trying to keep eating the old way.

Saturday morning, picked up scrambled eggs and sausage, the first few bites went straight up and out, and I figured it was the sausage, waited a bit and tried the eggs only, but they came up too.

I’ve been suspecting I can’t eat in the morning, but that verified it for me.

Lunch went well, but I was careful because I was eating in public – Macy’s family reunion – yes, Macy is a dog — and stuck with safe foods — potato salad, etc.

Also did well at dinner because I picked up a loaded baked potato but when I tried to eat other food later, it came back up.

Sunday, both lunch and dinner came back up. The only thing that stayed down was chicken, but that was because I went slow with it. Oh, and another loaded baked potato.

Here’s the bad thing — the food that stays down, defeats the band.

Did better today, stopped when I started feeling tight. Didn’t really need any more food. That’s what I need to learn to do — slow down and listen to the band.

Macy and I were invited to her family reunion and I went because I want another one of her relatives, huge turn out, and when I get around to it, I'll upload some pictures and videos.

Starting out was bad — I stopped and got scrambled eggs at Grandy's, and I ended up coughing it up on the way.

Lunch went well, but I went slow, and I was careful about what I picked.

Grabbed my favorite baked potato and meat on the way home and it went good too, but my Diet Gourmet dinner (eaten hours later), came back up.

Never know.

This is fill is difficult, but my weight is going down, so I'm not messing with it.

Parent conferences last night and the parent's served us smoked chicked.  I insisted on dark meat and got a thigh.  Ate about a third and was feeling really tight, managed a few green beans and a bit of potatos with cheese.  Went up to my room, grabbed my used McCafe cup and coughed up a few bites.  Wasn't too bad (hey, Friday morning I coughed up most of my breakfast).

I'm sure it was stress and eating too fast (I really wanted to go to an ARD).  One of my good friends says it sounds like I'm getting bulimia and I told her I'd worry about it in about 150 pounds and at that point I'd get an unfill and things would be better.

And I have seriously thought about an unfill BUT right now I"m doing what the surgery was supposed to do, let me lose weight.

Macy and I are making progress.  She isn't running out of the ring.  However, Saturday she was really slow.  I couldn't get her head up and someone asked me if I had thought of tracking with her <snarl>.

I know it was me.  The cold and rain have made me achy, and as I've said in a previous post, I've adjusted to this weight so I feel heavy when I try to run.  Wearing two layers of clothing didn't help either.

I didn't go back on Sunday, just woke up too achy.

We'll give it a try in a few weeks.

Saturday I'm going to Macy's family reunion, and hoping to talk to Mildred about a June puppy.  I want something just like Macy, but not quite so over the top.  I couldn't take two divas.  I want to get one who is about her size — don't want a 15" beagle again, even though I have the crates.  And it would be slower.

(Note: this was written before school, not during parent conferences.)