It actually all started about 4 years ago, shortly before I was diagnosed. We got a new principal whose mission was to get rid of any dead weight. Unfortunately I knew her by reputation, she was the principal that ran out an education classmate of mine her first year of teaching. I also knew she had been somewhat unreasonable to a friend of mine at her prior school. There is an article that describes her tactics on the internet but I’m not going to link to it. Even though the principal has retired, I don’t want to say too much.
I was diagnosed with diabetes that September. I had a lot of problems as a result — I think my blood sugar was okay until the glucose tolerance test, but after it my blood sugar was extremely elevated and stayed that way for several months.
I do believe that the problems I have had with diabetes has much affected how well I teach and also how well I get along with other people. It even affects adversely the way I deal with stressful situations. I still don’t have the energy level I had before my diagnosis.
Anyway, I think the above all contributed to my feeling like I was a target. I still do not feel comfortable in my world as a result and it will be a long time.
Right now, I’m very much aware of the fact that my students are not prepared for their exams, and not only is there nothing I can do about it now, I already did the best I could give the time and materials I had to work with. I can intellectually tell myself that, and I’m even sure that my building leadership would agree with me, but I still am not comfortable unless I feel like my students are completely prepared.
The good news, is that I will have this summer to try to make things better for next year’s students.
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